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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Jen's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, March 31st, 2004
3:47 pm
damn it!
I know I said I wouldnt come back from retreat a religous fanatic, but I have to say that was by far the best spiritual experience of my life. I am so glad I went and so disappointed that I missed out on doing it sooner.

So I had a lot of time to think and reflect on my life and particularly the people in it. What I realized was that I was so glad to have so many new and important people in my life, but I've been quite terrible to the old important ones. A couple of weeks ago Mark and I threw down and got alot of things out in the open. It was not a successful ("successful") fight because he couldnt realize that I wasnt talking about my interactions with the group, I was talking about my friendship with him. I wanted to know why he's disappeared from my life when I've made many attempts to hang out and all he could do was focus on the fact that I havent spent much time with the group. I know that this is true, and I've tried to fix it. . . only I never said I was sorry.

Mark ended our conversation (rather he said it and I left crying) by telling me that he's given up on me as a friend. I know I cant erase the last 6 months, but I guess what I'm trying to do is make sure things dont get any worse with the rest of y'all. Mark referenced a time when if there was a trid homecoming or function I would be immediately counted in. It's not that I dont want to be counted in any more, its just I have alot of things going on here and alot of things I dont want to miss out on in my last year at LeMoyne. I went to college and made a new group of friends and they've become very important to me. It's nice because to a certain extent they're mixible (sara and ali), but to another extent they're not (bill, mike, etc.). I dont know how to work this out, but I'm trying.

Lily, please dont mention this to the boys. I want to talk to everyone on my own. However, I guess one of my intents is to prep you for when I call you next week and try to schedule a buffalo trip. I'd like to know what youre thinking then. Thanks.

(Here's where I was supposed to tell the story about being punched in the face, but I dont have time. . . story to come soon)
Monday, January 26th, 2004
7:23 pm

MarkSoko: dennys sounds awesome, but i am totally swamped with work of all kinds until friday, so i free for it then:-) and we was upstairs in the front until like 9:40. over 3 hours and almost zero real progress, this is bad bad
JenDMB16: how idd i miss you???
JenDMB16: okay - well talk closer to then then
JenDMB16: yeah what physics isnt bad bad'
MarkSoko: beats me, did ya check upstairs?
JenDMB16: yeah
JenDMB16: i thought youd sprawl at a table so i checked all those
MarkSoko: weird. well this is like major league bad, i would say worse than all the balroj and schiller combined
JenDMB16: and didnt pay attention to the groups - i didnt think it was that type of work
MarkSoko: problem set, just me and heather
JenDMB16: oh well i would have just inturrupted anyways
MarkSoko: not much to interrupt
JenDMB16: all that quality time with heather
JenDMB16: :-)
MarkSoko: and plenty more to come, she and i will be meeting for like 5-6 hours a week from now on
MarkSoko: this semester may just be the death of me
JenDMB16: well you do what you have to do to get by
JenDMB16: noone understands that like sara and i
MarkSoko: yeah maybe, but when i hear about ukulele purchases i really dont see our predicaments in the same light
JenDMB16: do you understand how stressfull our lives are??????
JenDMB16: wow
JenDMB16: thats insulting
JenDMB16: forget it
MarkSoko: no i dont understand it, but i also know that i have zero free time at all and that i am doing problem sets beyond anything i have ever tried so...
JenDMB16: then im sure you have work to do right now - ill talk to you later

Wow a 16 hour a week job and three classes - way to join the real world, mark. Now he can maybe understand how I felt when I had five classes and i worked 30 hours a week. Jesus christ, first he ignores me then he insults me - what a friend.

on a brighter note!

Jedibill16: hey there sweetness - hope the night treats you well

Auto response from JenDMB16: Bill, you will never understand how much this weekend meant to me - I love you :-*

Jedibill16: im glad to take care of you - anytime you need me - ill be there for you
Jedibill16: chris and i stayed up late tonight talking - and i just talked about how happy i was with you

~He stayed in all weekend and made sure I was covered and medicated. . .I'm so lucky!
Saturday, November 15th, 2003
4:37 pm
except the part where I almost died at the hand of a tractor trailer. . .
I had the best night last night.

The 501 boys (bill's townhouse and TH303) have this tradition they like to call ManNight. Its a two year event where they ditch their girlfriends and drink until they can't drink anymore. Its supposedly shrouded in secrecy, but bill cant keep a secret to save his life. It sounds like alot of fun but as a female, not to mention a girlfriend, I am refused admittance.

So this year the girlfriends decided to have a Wo-Man-Night. It dwindled down due to unforseen occurances so that it went from 6 gfs to myself, Lisa, and Kavita. We had a blast. Everyone got 2 suveniers: a flashing tiera and a clear/blue champagne glass. We all wore jeans and black tank tops because we heard that the guys had a 'uniform'. We got a couple bottles of wine and some popcorn and talked the entire night. Oh and we also decorated with female propaganda and listened to chick rock the whole time. It sounds corny and dumb, but it was actually the best time I can remember having in a long long time.

But tonight I can see Bill again :)

"I'm your timy dancer, dancer for money"
"I'm one sneaky motherfucker"
"My boobs go everywhere"
"The female of the species is much deadlier than the male"
"X-chromosomes unite!"
"That was only our first near death experience of the night"
Tuesday, November 4th, 2003
2:26 pm
Bill and I are back to normal.

He explained himself to me and I actually believe him.

And now theres hell week and I feel very overwhelmed, so im glad i dont have to worry about him too.

He makes me smile when I have so much work i dont have time for even that little effort.

. . . . and he thinks Im pretty ;)
Sunday, October 26th, 2003
8:42 pm
and heres the funnier part two. . .
(later on that night)

hlg820: i just got off the phone with him
JenDMB16: ha ha ha
JenDMB16: and. . .?
hlg820: dont laugh at me!
JenDMB16: what happened?
hlg820: well....i asked him to go to dinner sometime...
hlg820: he said hed love to...
hlg820: and that he really values my friendship
hlg820: i dont know what that means...but im thinking not good for the relationship thing...
JenDMB16: oh no!!!!!
hlg820: i know :-(
JenDMB16: no - because if i know him (and atleast i did) he got nervous and flubbed
JenDMB16: stick it out once more
JenDMB16: go to dinner
JenDMB16: i mean why not?
hlg820: yeah, of course ill go out with him to dinner
hlg820: hopefully things will work out the way i want them too!
JenDMB16: well i wish you luck
JenDMB16: what a loser - i cant believe he flubbed it like that
hlg820: thank you
hlg820: oh no!
JenDMB16: im convinced - he didnt mean it the way it sounded
JenDMB16: you need to stick it out
hlg820: liz seems to think he might have a crush on some girl at karate
JenDMB16: where was she ten minutes ago?!?
hlg820: she told me before, i guess i just didnt want to believe it
JenDMB16: well - like i said - it cant hurt to go to dinner
hlg820: i know
hlg820: im excited
hlg820: but im scared
JenDMB16: why - its dinner
hlg820: i know
JenDMB16: you do it every day
hlg820: but hes cute
JenDMB16: not so hard
JenDMB16: i know ;-)
hlg820: ;-)
JenDMB16: well, really, keep me posted
hlg820: indeed
hlg820: thanks for the help
JenDMB16: did you make an actual plan?
JenDMB16: for dinner that is
hlg820: no
hlg820: we are going to figure out when is best someday soon
JenDMB16: do you have an im name
hlg820: what?
JenDMB16: a strategically placed message would do nicely
JenDMB16: so hed have to return it but you could try to leave it when you know hes not there
hlg820: oh, do i have his screenname?
JenDMB16: yeah sorry
hlg820: oh yeah, i do
hlg820: thats a good idea :-)
JenDMB16: i know whats what
JenDMB16: so let me know how it goes
hlg820: will do
JenDMB16: ill talk to you soon then
JenDMB16: :-)
hlg820: :-) sounds good
Saturday, October 25th, 2003
7:23 pm
how wierd is this. . .
hlg820: hey this is heather gangemi
JenDMB16: hey
JenDMB16: whats up?
hlg820: nothing how have you been
JenDMB16: not bad
JenDMB16: yourself?
hlg820: great
JenDMB16: whats up?
hlg820: i was just taking to dan burns a couple of nights ago and he asked who goes to lemoyne, and i said you
hlg820: and he was like omg! i know her
JenDMB16: yeah he does
JenDMB16: kind of a funny story. . .
JenDMB16: ;-)
hlg820: hmmm really?
hlg820: tell me
JenDMB16: well we dated. . . . . . .. twice
JenDMB16: seventh grade and tenth
hlg820: whoa wow
hlg820: and what happened
JenDMB16: i had the biggest crush on him but for all the highschool bullshit it never worked out
hlg820: awwww how come
JenDMB16: which i guess is good - i mean you learn things
JenDMB16: well hindsight is 20-20 and it all seems foolish now
hlg820: what happened, said like he sucked or something
JenDMB16: it was a mix between us not being mature enough and him wanting to beat up mark
JenDMB16: and you know that doesnt fly with me
JenDMB16: but hes a really nice guy and i always kinda wished things had been different - i mean how cute is he (way to miss the boat on that one, jen)
hlg820: why do you think he wanted to beat mark up?
JenDMB16: well mark and i have always been touchy feely
JenDMB16: i mean hes my best friend, but not alot of guys are comfortable with that
JenDMB16: because we're really close
JenDMB16: blah blah blah - its a guy macho thing
hlg820: ohhhhhh i see
hlg820: did you wish things were different?
hlg820: i mean hes been hanging out with myself and my roomates and hes the greatest
JenDMB16: yeah i think kerri mentioned something of the sort
JenDMB16: i assume shes the roommate?
hlg820: yes and liz fallon
JenDMB16: shes a riot
JenDMB16: you guys probably have alot of fun - where are you the view?>
hlg820: hieghts
hlg820: heights
hlg820: well do you think i should ask him out?
JenDMB16: ha ha ha
JenDMB16: give me a sec
hlg820: ut oh
JenDMB16: i just called you
hlg820: i'm at liz's house
JenDMB16: i thought we could girl this up the right way
hlg820: we're making dinner
hlg820: you can call me here
JenDMB16: alright - im it is
hlg820: 622-9441
JenDMB16: thats alright - its kind of wierd at a friends house
hlg820: she's making dinner
JenDMB16: but yeah i totatlly think you shouldd
hlg820: call me please?
Thursday, October 9th, 2003
8:43 pm
JHK3rd: Hey Jen,

Auto response from JHK3rd: Pat Volz is THE MAN!!!!
I cant believe I am forever immortalized in cartoon form :-)
~Out to lunch w/ Mrs Keating :-)
(Good luck ;-))
~Possibly the best New Friday ever!!!:-)

JHK3rd: I knew this was you when I read my name in your message. Cool I'm not sure I've ever been a part of someones away message before. Yeah :-D
JHK3rd: Any way...Jack will definitely call me blonde for this one, but I was suppose to get your address so we can send you an invitaiton to Colin's recital. Might you bring Bill? ;-) I thoght of it when we were talking and then phit...it was gone and never entered into my cob web filled mind again until I walked in the door and saw the invitations sitting here. Hmmm what a dope I am... so anyway could you Im it to Mark he is always on line. Thanks, Jen. By the way I had a great time at lunch. You are an extraordianry person. I think alot of you and know you will go far in life. Thanks for being you cause you are great!!!
JHK3rd: Have a wonderful day, talk to you soon O:-)

Which do I think is better - her wanting me to bring Bill to Colin's recital or the extremely complimentary nature of the closing?

I'm still in shock i had that waiting for me . . .
Sunday, September 28th, 2003
3:02 am
here you go alaina. . . .
Auto response from Jedibill16:
"I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again"

Wish I still had that Carebear

On the risk of being one of those girls, I am so lucky :)
Sunday, September 14th, 2003
12:39 am
just for kicks - imput needed
Gem698305: hey, i know you're really busy and the last thing you probably want to do is hang out with me, but i cant spend this whole year avoiding this. I'm not saying that our friendship will be the same, but at least it will be something better than what we have now. I understand if you don't want to bother because if i was in your shoes I don't know if I would want to bother with me either. We had some great times and I don't want potential ones this year to go by. Like I said, I know you're really busy so just drop me a line with what you think.
Saturday, September 13th, 2003
11:24 am
nerves of steel
So things have been kinda crazy recently.

Ive seemingly patched things up with the girls. I apologized for spending so much time with bill, but tried to explain why i am. I mean if anyone can understand hating where you live its them. . . only they dont try to escape. . .

So mark and i are a little better now. We're going out to dinner tonight. I had planned on bitching him out (because he told sara and alaina that ive been treating him like he treated me with anne last year). That made me really pissed, but you know that he knew that it would. I think that he's missing a few of the facts. Like he doesnt remember how he started avoiding me this summer, and how i tried to set up a hang out time, and how he bailed. So i admit i havent gone out of my way to hang out with him, but i think he should come to me if hes interested.. . . like i did with him and anne. Okay i thought i was over it, but i guess im still a little heated.

Speaking of anne: The girls had an old suite dinner. Ali and i were not invited. what the hell people. I mean i probably wouldnt have gone, but still. So either way she finally came over and i finally got to see her for the first time. I got the hell out of there asap. So i went to bills. Guess what happened about an hour later?!? Becky brought her to bills. UMMMM hello! Jesus its like i cant get away. Either way she imd me last night a quasi attempt at friendship. I really wish i could believe old anne is back, but i have my doubts. Any inp[ut on what i should do about it is welcome.

more to come. . .
Saturday, September 6th, 2003
11:16 am
updates, updates, get your updates here. . .
So life is still pretty hectic, but atleast im enjoying myself. It still sucks living in Foery, but I'm almost over it. Things with the girls are weird - im making an effort to socialize with them and theyre not making the effort to do the same for me (including using my quesadilla maker for the first time w/o me). It's wierd, I know, but it sucks.

I miss the trids. I miss alaina. Marks here, but things are funny due to the bill sitch. I'm making alot of new friends, but I really dont want to. Why cant everyone just come home already?!?

And believe it or not, the one thing in my life that I'm completely happy with is Bill. We are now officially an item, whatever the hell that means. I did ask him out and i didnt embarrass the hell out of myself. Tonight I'm going with him to his grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary party. Talk about stress. I mean we've been going out for a week and dating for a few months - TOO SOON!!! I feel like I'm going to hurl. Both sets of grandparents at once. I'm a goner!

I guess thats about it. Wow, I'm lame.
Friday, August 29th, 2003
5:24 pm
oh lord!
So things in the life of Jen are extremely hectic right now - Driving out to spac and connecticut a few times a week really dont help anything, but I've had a blast. Dave shows have been great, school so far has been really good (alot of work, but good), and things with Bill are going surprisingly well.

I've been absent due to the dave shows so there was a two day span where I wasnt around at all. When I got home at 2am this morning I went over there to drag his ass out to see Mars (I'm such a dork), but I thought he'd enjoy it. He came back from suds and I cant believe how glad I was to see him. I'm screwed guys. I'm officially head over heels in like. Any bets as to how long until I mess this up? But anyways back to the story. . .I see him and he tells me he has something for me in the kitchen. He got me a rose, guys. Now I know its really not that big of a deal, but its been so long since a guy has felt the need to do something cute like that. It was kind of nice. I think tonight's the night I get up the guts to just ask him out already. Come on, Jen, thousands of morons do it every day. I feel like I'm in highschool! Oh well, wish me luck! :)
Friday, August 8th, 2003
1:43 pm
damn. . .
and there it is: the first gag-me away message ;)

Last day at St. Joe's :(

5 hours at tops :/

Then I get to see jen :)

Cute but still invokes a gag-reflex, dont it?
Tuesday, July 15th, 2003
6:25 pm
"flowers bloom in the desert, only hope can come from that. . ."
I'm looking at an inevitable screwup. . . .


"sometimes I burn like a dot on the sun with noone knowing. . ."
Saturday, July 5th, 2003
1:25 pm
I swear to god the fates are against me.
Monday, June 16th, 2003
7:15 pm
"you got more ass then an . . . . ass factory!"
So Orientation weekend #1 went really well. Cant argue with free shirts! We had a pretty good turnout freshman wise, and a fairly good turnout of parents. Most of us OC members were there. I got to room with Meg. . .in Nelligan ;) (its so sad that the first time i get to sleep in Nelligan its for OC!) There were a few airport runs with cute andy and a trip to suds with the whole crew. It was a great time :)

I skipped the candid show at Balloonfest due to an incredible tired-over, but I made it to the Bridge street show. I got lost, but i only missed one song. But who saw that Iceburg opener coming?!? They played two new songs, so you kids shoulda made it. Allegedly Diane's really pissed off at me. And the thing is, I cant really say anything because I did exactly what she says i did. I totally admit that i only talked to her for like ten minutes in the beginning, but she has to realize that she makes third wheel completely understandable. I dont feel that bad because i wasnt going to sit next to them making out all night and I dont mind telling her so if she asks. Things may blow up soon. . .
Saturday, May 17th, 2003
2:51 pm
mindless work ramblings. . .
What is it about Colin that makes me so incredibly stupid?

I'm aware that starting/restarting/i dont even know what the hell we're at anymore would be emotional suicide. I've been here before - four times already - I know the drill. I dont want to be his girlfriend so why do I still have to write these lame entries like a fuckin loser?

He's the most selfish person Ive ever met. He definitely doesnt understand me. We have NOTHING in common. He's gay. He doesnt pay any attention to me for 3/4 of the year. He's gay. He never thinks things are his fault. Did I mention he's gay?

Yesterday night we went mini golfing. It was really wierd - he was kinda hovering. I'd walk to the next hole and then hed follow and stand about a foot behind me. Around hole seven I started to wonder and by hole 12 it was getting rediculous. Every single time. Id understand if it was just us, but alaina was there too. And mark noticed. Mark! I dont know what the deal was

a slightly humorous story. . .
the other night I went over there to watch a movie. I asked my mom if i could borrow her car and she asked me where i was going. I told her i was going to colin's and she turns to me gives me a face and about twenty seconds later turns and says, "well that makes sense - it's summer" She said it really snotty too - it was so wierd to hear my mom say something like that. But its not like I hadnt already thought of that myself. . .
Thursday, May 15th, 2003
1:50 am
in the words of Mark. . .
filling my life with something. . . even if its crap. . .
Friday, May 9th, 2003
11:53 am
here you go alaina, the pathetic story of my life. . .
Scuttle67: still awake?
Scuttle67: or just forgot to shut it off?
JenDMB16: are you kiddig me
Scuttle67: are you still drunk?
JenDMB16: but im just about done
JenDMB16: theres drybe
JenDMB16: and then theres what i am
JenDMB16: but i cant stop! ;-)
Scuttle67: are you puking?
JenDMB16: nope - not yet
JenDMB16: are you proud?
JenDMB16: but im not sone yet
Scuttle67: right
Scuttle67: i'm proud
JenDMB16: ali just went to bed like 15 minutes ago
Scuttle67: sorry i had to peace out
JenDMB16: hey thats alright - except now im the only person up
JenDMB16: like always
Scuttle67: i'm still awake so you're not the only person
JenDMB16: well why arent you here?
Scuttle67: haha
JenDMB16: youre not going to drink with me - youre no good
JenDMB16: ;-)
JenDMB16: im finally 21 and noones here!
JenDMB16: damn my friends and their sleeping habits
Scuttle67: i'm sorry
Scuttle67: and me and my aprehensions
JenDMB16: ???
Scuttle67: never mind
Scuttle67: that word is too big for the drunken mind
JenDMB16: ha ha - too drunk for you to do that!
JenDMB16: exactly
Scuttle67: right
Scuttle67: go to bed
Scuttle67: drink some gatorade
JenDMB16: i dont sleep well after ive been drinking
Scuttle67: thats so weird
Scuttle67: i peace out on life after i've been drinking
Scuttle67: it's like my head is burried in the pillow
JenDMB16: and if you mean what i think you mean - if you wanted to do anything you would have been back here alreasy
JenDMB16: already
Scuttle67: jen, neither of us need that
JenDMB16: well i dont think anything could make me like thaat
Scuttle67: i'm not sure that either of us want it
Scuttle67: besides the immediate desire, it all turns into a mess after that
Scuttle67: we've been there before
JenDMB16: yeah but its different now
Scuttle67: ????
JenDMB16: hey i dont want you to anything you dont want to do
Scuttle67: you're drunk we shouldn't be doing this
JenDMB16: we're not remember - youre there im here
Scuttle67: even the conversation
JenDMB16: but i dont finad a problem talking about it
JenDMB16: oh come on - if we cant talk about it then who can
Scuttle67: jen what i want to do, and what i can/want to take responsibilty for tomorrow are two completely different things
Scuttle67: i know
Scuttle67: but talk is one thing
JenDMB16: then that means you want to come over here
JenDMB16: what the hell, coln, can we not do anything rtight?
Scuttle67: jen, you know i'm not good for you
JenDMB16: i do
JenDMB16: but you being here just makes sense
Scuttle67: so then what is the point
Scuttle67: you're not making sense
JenDMB16: ha ha
Scuttle67: us trying over and over again has caused a lot more pain for both of us than ever needed
Scuttle67: don't you think there comes a point when we should just stop trying to make it work?
JenDMB16: yeah and why do we bother again and again?
JenDMB16: oh come on - youre a julia roberts fan
JenDMB16: :-)
Scuttle67: that's what i'm saying
Scuttle67: so get in your bed and get some sleep
Scuttle67: we'll hang out soon
Scuttle67: alcohol involved please
Scuttle67: tonight was a blast
JenDMB16: youre avoiding me
JenDMB16: but thanks
Scuttle67: no i'm not
Scuttle67: you know it is a bad idea for me to come there
JenDMB16: if i knew that would i be asking you?
Scuttle67: that's the alcohol asking
Scuttle67: you just told me it is a bad idea
Scuttle67: you have a roommate...nothing could happen
JenDMB16: ha ha ha - maybe
JenDMB16: i dont even want you to come over so we can like hook up or anything, but itd be nice to have you around to fall asleep with
Scuttle67: okay i will not let you get to my weak spots
Scuttle67: that's not a fair game
Scuttle67: i smell like smoke anyway
Scuttle67: i just went to a diner with my friends
JenDMB16: ???
Scuttle67: you best not be ???ing the weak spots comment
Scuttle67: you know exactly what i mean
JenDMB16: ??? sorry :-[
Scuttle67: it's cool
Scuttle67: you're just sinful
JenDMB16: ha ha ha thanks
JenDMB16: noones ever called me sinful before
Scuttle67: well i'm the best person to be the first i think
Scuttle67: i know your devilish ways
JenDMB16: no you dont -= ive come along way in two years
Scuttle67: my point exactly
JenDMB16: oh god, i was kidding
JenDMB16: you dont mean that
Scuttle67: listen
Scuttle67: temptation is a bitch
Scuttle67: i think you should go to bed
Scuttle67: and i should attempt to do the same
JenDMB16: there you go avoinding me again
JenDMB16: can we ever just talk something out?
JenDMB16: and live through it?
Scuttle67: well i feel like you're going to get what you want if i keep this up
Scuttle67: and that's not good
JenDMB16: what do you mean what i want
Scuttle67: it's 5:30 in the morning
JenDMB16: jesus
Scuttle67: don't get pissed
Scuttle67: please just listen to what i'm saying
Scuttle67: can you please just respect what i have to say
Scuttle67: i'm trying to be reasonable
JenDMB16: yes
Scuttle67: thank you
Scuttle67: alright get some sleep
JenDMB16: (are you done?) I just think that if its not now, itll be some other time - and I'm ready to deal with it now
JenDMB16: and youre scared so youre avoiding the issue
Scuttle67: and you're drunk
Scuttle67: so i'd rather not do this now
JenDMB16: im getting more sober by the minute
Scuttle67: i'm not scared
Scuttle67: listen i can have a hook up with no baggage attached but i'm worried that you can't
Scuttle67: i'm tired of hurting you
Scuttle67: i just want to be your friend
Scuttle67: not the kid who is jeered and abused because he had an attraction and acted on it
Scuttle67: i don't like to walk into a room of you and your friends and feel all the eyes in the room hit me with, oh there is her ex-boyfriend who was such a jerk
JenDMB16: colin i just wnat you here - it seems like i only ger this chance once every four mothis and i feel like tomorrow is the day you could stop talking to me again when all i really want is to fall asleep in your arms and somehow make this birthday redeemable
JenDMB16: and if i let this go, i wont see you and i wont talk to you
Scuttle67: but that's a choice on both of our behalf
Scuttle67: we could just get over our pissy attitudes and talk to each other regularly
JenDMB16: colin what if i promise you i wont make a morve on you
JenDMB16: would that be better
Scuttle67: i don't care if you make a move on me
JenDMB16: becuse iv thought that before and ive always been disappointed
Scuttle67: i think i'd like it
JenDMB16: ha ha ha
Scuttle67: i just don't want the baggage right now
Scuttle67: i'm not sure you could seperate it all tomorrow morning
Scuttle67: and i have a meeting at noon
Scuttle67: it's now 5:37
JenDMB16: please?
Scuttle67: things aren't lining up well
Scuttle67: oh you're begging
JenDMB16: oh my god i am!
JenDMB16: what the hell happened to me?
Scuttle67: i really need to try to get some sleep here
JenDMB16: dont make me resort to the begging again
Scuttle67: you're making this terribly difficult
JenDMB16: i know - thats my aim
Scuttle67: blah
JenDMB16: blah is colin for youre going to come over right?
Scuttle67: i'm gonna say no
JenDMB16: damn it!
Scuttle67: i'm really sorry
JenDMB16: i promised didnt i?
Scuttle67: promised what?
JenDMB16: that i wouldnt try anything
Scuttle67: it's not fucking that
Scuttle67: i told you i'd probably like hat
Scuttle67: that
Scuttle67: i'm sorry
Scuttle67: not tonight
JenDMB16: well then why arent you coming, and dont tell me the noon thing cause i dont buy it
Scuttle67: well i do have a meeting at noon
JenDMB16: i know - but i dont think thats it
Scuttle67: i think you will know why when you think about how i've made you feel in the past
Scuttle67: please just take my no and understand that our friendship is not standing still
Scuttle67: i hear what you're saying
JenDMB16: if thats all i was thinking about i wouldnt have been so quick to invite you to my birthday party
Scuttle67: i feel an attractiong
Scuttle67: i just don't think you are ready for this to happen
JenDMB16: i already said - i think twice - i just want you around
Scuttle67: damn your mother must have asked you about i million times "what don't you understand about no"
JenDMB16: if something happens fine i can deal with that - if something doesnt happen i can dea with that too
JenDMB16: yeah and she didnt have much sucess either
JenDMB16: im a stubborn bitch what can i say
Scuttle67: exactly
Scuttle67: no dealing with it
Scuttle67: go to bed
Scuttle67: i'm sorry
Scuttle67: i'm not trying to be a dick
JenDMB16: arg!
JenDMB16: i want to deal with it - either way
JenDMB16: get it out of the way
Scuttle67: deal with what?
JenDMB16: you say things like it cant happen tonight and it just jabs me - like what if it was tomorrow itd be fine?
JenDMB16: we always have the same problem - youre attracted tome and im attracted to you
Scuttle67: i don't know
Scuttle67: yes i know
Scuttle67: jen, i can't do this now
Scuttle67: i'm too tired
Scuttle67: drunk or not, you're going to mad handle me here
Scuttle67: i want to talk with you but i can't do it now
JenDMB16: so what i should hang on till tomorrow?
Scuttle67: hang on to what?
JenDMB16: sorry i take that back
Scuttle67: yes, please hang on to being my friend
Scuttle67: i'm sorry please don't be pissed
Scuttle67: i want to fall asleep with you
Scuttle67: i really do
Scuttle67: i just can't tonight
Scuttle67: and i know that may make it harder (the tonight part)
Scuttle67: but it's the truth
Scuttle67: i have some things to sort out
Scuttle67: just for me
JenDMB16: im just scared that im not going to talk to you until like october - becuase thats the way things work
JenDMB16: and i just want to cry
JenDMB16: like a loser
JenDMB16: :-)
Scuttle67: then change that
Scuttle67: call me tomorrow
Scuttle67: if you're scared of it then don't let it happen
Scuttle67: and for the love of God stop with the gay jokes
Scuttle67: it's really not fucking helping your cause
JenDMB16: i dont mean to piss you off but what about january - i didnt want it to happen then
JenDMB16: hey i was like that before the time of you
Scuttle67: want what to happen
Scuttle67: we hung out
Scuttle67: i was honest with you
JenDMB16: us reverting to our normal individual lives and not talking
Scuttle67: well you didn't call
Scuttle67: or IM
Scuttle67: I need to go to sleep
JenDMB16: oh my god - now i just want you to come over so i can kick your ass
Scuttle67: i'm really sorry to do this
JenDMB16: are you kidding me
Scuttle67: haha
JenDMB16: are you kidding me
Scuttle67: jen
JenDMB16: are you kidding me
Scuttle67: stop it
JenDMB16: arg!
JenDMB16: you infuriate me
Scuttle67: i'm being so truthful and honest with you
JenDMB16: really you do
Scuttle67: see what i mean
Scuttle67: this is the problem
Scuttle67: and you infuriate me
JenDMB16: i draw the line at 5 unreturned ims over a two month span
Scuttle67: i can't tell you how many times i have made a face at the scree in the past half hour
JenDMB16: i kind of get the clue that you dont want to speak with me
Scuttle67: okay then i'm bad at returning IM's
Scuttle67: try the phone
Scuttle67: i'm much better at that
Scuttle67: jen please
JenDMB16: why would i - if youre not going to retur an im why would you wnat ot speak with me on the phone
Scuttle67: i'm falling asleep infront of the screen
JenDMB16: alright - ill let you go to bed
Scuttle67: because i always have my phone with me
Scuttle67: i'm sorry
JenDMB16: but this is not over
Scuttle67: i'm sure you're going to be pissed
Scuttle67: i'm glad it's not over
Scuttle67: call me tomorrow
Scuttle67: !!!!!!!!!!
Scuttle67: and don't whine about not talking to me
JenDMB16: what does that mean!
Scuttle67: 420-3839
JenDMB16: talk about faces
Scuttle67: no more excuses just do it
Scuttle67: i'll talk to you tomorrow
Scuttle67: get some sleep please
JenDMB16: fine - what time?
Scuttle67: try to avoid the bartles and james
JenDMB16: no way
Scuttle67: and be done with lunch by 1:30
JenDMB16: and i can just go to wegmans and buy more
JenDMB16: yay!
Scuttle67: haha
Scuttle67: talk to you tomorrow
JenDMB16: alright
Scuttle67: happy birthday!!!!
JenDMB16: thank you
Scuttle67: i'm glad this all happened
Scuttle67: i'm serioius
JenDMB16: hey colin are we fine?
Scuttle67: yes
JenDMB16: okay good
Scuttle67: i promise jen
Scuttle67: i had such a great time with you tonight
Scuttle67: we'll talk tomorrow
JenDMB16: i know - beer pong players extrordinaire
Scuttle67: haha
Scuttle67: we rocked!!!
JenDMB16: thanks for coming
JenDMB16: we did
Scuttle67: of course
Scuttle67: i had to
Scuttle67: it's only once that you turn 21
Scuttle67: and someone had to administer you a shot of something
Scuttle67: i was proud
JenDMB16: well ill have to get you back on that one
JenDMB16: thank you
Scuttle67: okay
Scuttle67: goodngiht
Scuttle67: or good morning
Scuttle67: whatever
JenDMB16: both
Scuttle67: SLEEP!!!!
Scuttle67: bye
JenDMB16: in a while
JenDMB16: goodnight colin
JenDMB16: thanks again
JenDMB16: :-)

Auto response from Scuttle67: i'm sorry i can't make it better...
5:50 am
oh lord. . .
He threw himself at me, i said no.

I threw myself at him, he said no.

When will we ever get it together? Dont Julia Roberts me. . .
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